We are also pressurized by society to achieve in a saturated economy of overachievers. The economy is tough. We are smarter, more educated, more cultured and world-savvy than our parents’ generation, yet it is harder to find a good job and go up from there. Because everyone is as good as you, if not better, and trying harder.”
I enjoyed your weaving of trends and observations related to the sentiments of our generations and our changing economy. Something quite top of mind for me as well. To add, there's a growing movement of anti work as more people feel burned out and chewed up by capitalism. I think another trend is at play - the rebalancing of healthy femine and masculine ways of being in the world. Our world has been trapped in wounded masculine for a long time (hypercompetition, aggression, power over). We thought that the answer was for women to become independent, but many of us just became the wounded masculine ourselves. Ive just begun to embrace my healthy feminine side, which has been repressed since childhood. The creative, connecting, nurturing, chaotic, playful, intuitive, loving side of myself. Having a partner who holds the healthy masculine pole strongly (safety, strength, protection, grounding, focus) allows me to trust and lean even more into my healthy feminine. In this regard, I can understand where tradwives are coming from. I think one big challenge is that the healthy masculine is so hard to find in men nowadays - there are few male mentors and role models out there. So many women are left needing to try holding both poles within themselves.
thanks for dropping this thoughtful comment Jessica ☺️
yes, your comments about “anti-work” are spot on.
and yes. I think masculinity also needs to be talked about more!!! women often talk about feminity a lot and the many different things it can encompass, but there’s a certain stigma for men to talk about masculinity as “being a man” or “man up” is…. not to talk about it and just to deal with it, lol. I do see the upsides of that can-do attitude but we are all humans with flaws and weaknesses so it may be nice for them to talk and share sometimes too
You did an excellent job writing this and exploring this topic. Thanks for your thought provoking, well researched article. I hadn’t heard the term but certainly had observed the phenomenon of people building a brand by playing the role on social media. Actually your insights were very good.
I grew up with a mom who was a phenomenal cook, “homemaker “ and beautiful landscaper. She could do anything well and while for those early years she didn’t have a job outside the home that’s because she worked extremely hard on our family farm. People called mom legendary and she really was gifted at hospitality. She still is at 80. Thank God the internet didn’t exist when we were kids. She didn’t live a life of leisure at all. She milked our cow, made butter and homemade ice cream, grew a huge garden, canned and put up everything to feed us all winter. She made waffles from scratch, we grew strawberries and had whip cream from our Jersey cow. We were blessed. (And of course we helped and worked in the farm too.)
You are so right. The social media tradwives only show what they want people to see. But maybe some of them actually are naturally gifted in these areas. Honestly I don’t know how Mom did it all so well. Her house was always clean and welcoming. But the beauty of her life is she hates social media and only did it because she wanted to bless loved ones and use her gifts to serve God. That truly is her love language and gifting. She’s also very pretty.
However I could never live up to her example. I simply don’t have the health or the desire or abilities she possesses. I think the nostalgia pendulum theory has merit. I really admire the decision some of my younger friends have made to stay at home to raise younger kids. But with the economy as it is and inflation running rampant that’s tricky too. My Chinese friend is a kidney specialist and her husband stayed home to raise their daughter and keep things running smoothly at home. I greatly respect them. You captured this topic so well. I’d love to read an article on the subject of kids of Instagram and social media like Jacob and Baby Sam. I worry about the effect that creating media sensations will have on these kids and the potential exploitation going on. I saw Jacob throw a fit saying “I’m famous.” I am concerned about the impact that social media has in damaging the social skills of young people and creating addictions while rewiring brains. I look forward to reading more of your insightful work.
Thank you for your heartfelt sharing, Susan. Grateful to have you here :)
Your mom sounds amazing!!! Also, it sounds like a pretty fun childhood, one that’s hard to come by these days :’)
You bring up a few interesting points- that there are people out there living the “tradwife” ideal without sharing their lives on social media, and secondly… the true motivations of a traditional homemaker/wife would be that giving and caring for your family is enough, without a need to sell their lifestyle online.
I do wonder a lot about these children on social media too. I mean, it’s without their consent since they’re under 18. To have alll their baby/toddler pics documented online, and find out once they become of age… is scary. I’d rather take a precious photo or two for personal use so that kids have a memory, not a documentary, of themselves when they grow up.
Thank you, Clare! It's fun to find your Substack and read your perspective. We were blessed in many ways, and I agree, it's not the norm these days. (Though every family goes through hardships, and ours was no exception.)
I think some people simply thrive using the gifts they have, and I'm thankful when they don't have any interest in "selling their lifestyle" online. Like I said, the internet didn't exist back then and 'selling a lifestyle' would sound absolutely bizarre and even mercenary. I have pondered how social media platforms have rewired brains, and I've appreciated your perspective on this particular topic. Last evening I went to a baby shower for my yet to be born great niece. My nephew and his wife are farmers, and at the shower, an older friend encouraged them with ways to nurture a healthy child in a short talk. I think that this couple will spend lots of time with the baby, making eye contact, and nurturing their child. But being fully present and loving those in our lives without sharing everything and having a mindset that this is creating a brand or "monetizing" your lifestyle....well, I think young families are raising kids in some pretty strange times. A few of those children on social media have videos posted of themselves almost daily, and the moms are essentially creating a child actors who will think everything they say and do is for others to gawk at. They may have a tough time developing a healthy identity and other important things. I am a counselor as far as my degree and background, and I just suspect there are some really tough adjustments ahead as these kids grow up. Besides that, the joy center in the brain develops by having eye contact, synchronizing with the emotions of a mom or close adult, and secure attachment and belonging help to created healthy emotional regulation as they grow up. If instead of eye contact, kids see the phone pointed at them all of the time, the bonds are likely to be missed out on, and the whole thing gets a bit wonky. I check out a few of these famous kids videos every now and then (not often), just out of curiosity as to how they are doing. Cracks in the scaffolding appear sometimes.
Oh gosh, I don't know what to say here. The tradwife scares me. I think it's because traditionally, we see a lot of horror stories during my grandparents generation, where "tradwives" give their all - serving the husband, taking care of the children, run a tight household and keeping everything running well and clean, and only to have their husbands either abandon them, or get a mistress or another wife, and I have not even get into other scary things like abuse and such. It is no surprise that we girls are all being raised to be independent - so you do not have to rely on any man (judging how unreliable they can be, but that speaks for all human I guess). But yeah, now that off my chest, I can also see the allure of the tradwife, I can see how some of my friends may fit this role nicely, and their love language is service and what could be better than to serve your loved ones and to see them thrive. Also, there is pressure as you say to find a better job, but I believe there will also be pressure to be the better tradwife - is your window cleaner than mine? are you kids excelling better than mine? and so on....
Yes… I’m not against the idea of a traditional wife or housewife, but like you say, it IS scary relying on an unreliable human for your sole source of income. It’s also irresponsible that the “tradwives” on social media say that they’re relying on their husband’s income (thus maybe influencing the younger generation to do so) while… actually running a their profit-making social media brand and making money online.
Yes! It’s difficult to be the “perfect” tradwife right? Which is why perfection only exists in an online instagram profile 😅
Thanks for dropping by and reading and sharing Rachel!! ^^
“So, we’re bored and jaded.
We are also pressurized by society to achieve in a saturated economy of overachievers. The economy is tough. We are smarter, more educated, more cultured and world-savvy than our parents’ generation, yet it is harder to find a good job and go up from there. Because everyone is as good as you, if not better, and trying harder.”
This. Lots to chew on.
Right? I feel it deeply too, and if it’s tough for us, imagine how tough it must be for the next generation…
Thanks for reading Ange!!!!! ☺️☺️
I enjoyed your weaving of trends and observations related to the sentiments of our generations and our changing economy. Something quite top of mind for me as well. To add, there's a growing movement of anti work as more people feel burned out and chewed up by capitalism. I think another trend is at play - the rebalancing of healthy femine and masculine ways of being in the world. Our world has been trapped in wounded masculine for a long time (hypercompetition, aggression, power over). We thought that the answer was for women to become independent, but many of us just became the wounded masculine ourselves. Ive just begun to embrace my healthy feminine side, which has been repressed since childhood. The creative, connecting, nurturing, chaotic, playful, intuitive, loving side of myself. Having a partner who holds the healthy masculine pole strongly (safety, strength, protection, grounding, focus) allows me to trust and lean even more into my healthy feminine. In this regard, I can understand where tradwives are coming from. I think one big challenge is that the healthy masculine is so hard to find in men nowadays - there are few male mentors and role models out there. So many women are left needing to try holding both poles within themselves.
thanks for dropping this thoughtful comment Jessica ☺️
yes, your comments about “anti-work” are spot on.
and yes. I think masculinity also needs to be talked about more!!! women often talk about feminity a lot and the many different things it can encompass, but there’s a certain stigma for men to talk about masculinity as “being a man” or “man up” is…. not to talk about it and just to deal with it, lol. I do see the upsides of that can-do attitude but we are all humans with flaws and weaknesses so it may be nice for them to talk and share sometimes too
You did an excellent job writing this and exploring this topic. Thanks for your thought provoking, well researched article. I hadn’t heard the term but certainly had observed the phenomenon of people building a brand by playing the role on social media. Actually your insights were very good.
I grew up with a mom who was a phenomenal cook, “homemaker “ and beautiful landscaper. She could do anything well and while for those early years she didn’t have a job outside the home that’s because she worked extremely hard on our family farm. People called mom legendary and she really was gifted at hospitality. She still is at 80. Thank God the internet didn’t exist when we were kids. She didn’t live a life of leisure at all. She milked our cow, made butter and homemade ice cream, grew a huge garden, canned and put up everything to feed us all winter. She made waffles from scratch, we grew strawberries and had whip cream from our Jersey cow. We were blessed. (And of course we helped and worked in the farm too.)
You are so right. The social media tradwives only show what they want people to see. But maybe some of them actually are naturally gifted in these areas. Honestly I don’t know how Mom did it all so well. Her house was always clean and welcoming. But the beauty of her life is she hates social media and only did it because she wanted to bless loved ones and use her gifts to serve God. That truly is her love language and gifting. She’s also very pretty.
However I could never live up to her example. I simply don’t have the health or the desire or abilities she possesses. I think the nostalgia pendulum theory has merit. I really admire the decision some of my younger friends have made to stay at home to raise younger kids. But with the economy as it is and inflation running rampant that’s tricky too. My Chinese friend is a kidney specialist and her husband stayed home to raise their daughter and keep things running smoothly at home. I greatly respect them. You captured this topic so well. I’d love to read an article on the subject of kids of Instagram and social media like Jacob and Baby Sam. I worry about the effect that creating media sensations will have on these kids and the potential exploitation going on. I saw Jacob throw a fit saying “I’m famous.” I am concerned about the impact that social media has in damaging the social skills of young people and creating addictions while rewiring brains. I look forward to reading more of your insightful work.
Thank you for your heartfelt sharing, Susan. Grateful to have you here :)
Your mom sounds amazing!!! Also, it sounds like a pretty fun childhood, one that’s hard to come by these days :’)
You bring up a few interesting points- that there are people out there living the “tradwife” ideal without sharing their lives on social media, and secondly… the true motivations of a traditional homemaker/wife would be that giving and caring for your family is enough, without a need to sell their lifestyle online.
I do wonder a lot about these children on social media too. I mean, it’s without their consent since they’re under 18. To have alll their baby/toddler pics documented online, and find out once they become of age… is scary. I’d rather take a precious photo or two for personal use so that kids have a memory, not a documentary, of themselves when they grow up.
Thank you, Clare! It's fun to find your Substack and read your perspective. We were blessed in many ways, and I agree, it's not the norm these days. (Though every family goes through hardships, and ours was no exception.)
I think some people simply thrive using the gifts they have, and I'm thankful when they don't have any interest in "selling their lifestyle" online. Like I said, the internet didn't exist back then and 'selling a lifestyle' would sound absolutely bizarre and even mercenary. I have pondered how social media platforms have rewired brains, and I've appreciated your perspective on this particular topic. Last evening I went to a baby shower for my yet to be born great niece. My nephew and his wife are farmers, and at the shower, an older friend encouraged them with ways to nurture a healthy child in a short talk. I think that this couple will spend lots of time with the baby, making eye contact, and nurturing their child. But being fully present and loving those in our lives without sharing everything and having a mindset that this is creating a brand or "monetizing" your lifestyle....well, I think young families are raising kids in some pretty strange times. A few of those children on social media have videos posted of themselves almost daily, and the moms are essentially creating a child actors who will think everything they say and do is for others to gawk at. They may have a tough time developing a healthy identity and other important things. I am a counselor as far as my degree and background, and I just suspect there are some really tough adjustments ahead as these kids grow up. Besides that, the joy center in the brain develops by having eye contact, synchronizing with the emotions of a mom or close adult, and secure attachment and belonging help to created healthy emotional regulation as they grow up. If instead of eye contact, kids see the phone pointed at them all of the time, the bonds are likely to be missed out on, and the whole thing gets a bit wonky. I check out a few of these famous kids videos every now and then (not often), just out of curiosity as to how they are doing. Cracks in the scaffolding appear sometimes.
Anyway, blessings on you and your family, Clare.
Oh gosh, I don't know what to say here. The tradwife scares me. I think it's because traditionally, we see a lot of horror stories during my grandparents generation, where "tradwives" give their all - serving the husband, taking care of the children, run a tight household and keeping everything running well and clean, and only to have their husbands either abandon them, or get a mistress or another wife, and I have not even get into other scary things like abuse and such. It is no surprise that we girls are all being raised to be independent - so you do not have to rely on any man (judging how unreliable they can be, but that speaks for all human I guess). But yeah, now that off my chest, I can also see the allure of the tradwife, I can see how some of my friends may fit this role nicely, and their love language is service and what could be better than to serve your loved ones and to see them thrive. Also, there is pressure as you say to find a better job, but I believe there will also be pressure to be the better tradwife - is your window cleaner than mine? are you kids excelling better than mine? and so on....
Yes… I’m not against the idea of a traditional wife or housewife, but like you say, it IS scary relying on an unreliable human for your sole source of income. It’s also irresponsible that the “tradwives” on social media say that they’re relying on their husband’s income (thus maybe influencing the younger generation to do so) while… actually running a their profit-making social media brand and making money online.
Yes! It’s difficult to be the “perfect” tradwife right? Which is why perfection only exists in an online instagram profile 😅
Thanks for dropping by and reading and sharing Rachel!! ^^
Appreciate the shout, Claire! Highly recommend reading The Almanack of Naval Ravikant as well if you'd love to deep dive further on Naval's ideas
listening to his podcast episode on Tim Ferriss now and amazed at his mind