Oh man... I can't even begin to explain how much an influence HIMYM was to me as a teen. I've been a hopeless romantic throughout that period, and I've set some pretty unrealistic standards on what love should look like. Being in a relationship today, a few years after realizing how my ideals were not grounded with reality, I could see such a huge difference in what relationships are actually like. I still remember being amazed when I realized, "Huh... so love doesn't always have to feel exciting?" I love how you invite us to reflect on the ideas and emotions we have, Claire. :')
yesss media has messed up our heads with the idea of Perfect Love rather than anything else I would say! for me it will always be a mix of when harry met sally/dirty dancing/ross and rachel from friends 🙈
btw— what do you think of the ending of HIMYM? i didn’t want the show to disappoint me so i never watched till the end… but interested to hear a measured take on it ;P
ha! i knew friends had the power to influence me like himym. with regards to the himym ending tho... hmm, i think it's fair generally. honestly, i have some stuff i hate about it. some stuff that were okay. but i still think watching until the end is good for you. idk if it applies to most people, but i felt like i grew from seeing the ending and having my own strong thoughts about it. if you prefer to keep things happy tho, i suggest not going all the way.
hmm interesting. i was actually thinking of writing a post in the future about (authors/screenwriters) bending the story to their initial goal/will (e.g. HIMYM) vs. letting the story and the characters grow organically (e.g. the office) but i guess i'll have to finish HIMYM first in order to do that! :P
Interesting - that sounds like a good topic! I think it’s worth writing something about it even if you haven’t finished watching - if the topic excites you enough :’)
A few months ago, I got this strange urge of wanting to own a faux fur coat. I looked through thrift shops for it mostly and had this strange fantasy that it would keep me warm and I would look cool in the process. One day, I open a website called Refinery29 and there is an article about the "Mafia Wife" trend, a Tik Tok Trend, in which women don things like dark sunglasses, fur coats and prints. I have never been on Tik Tok, I was also on a hiatus from IG. Needless to say I was baffled how the aesthetic got picked up by my mind. The fantasy broke away, thankfully. However, I can't say that romantic movies or shows did not affect me at all, they certainly did, in modeling these super witty connections that do happen, but in rare moments. I have gone to the art gallery with friends once or twice, thinking the environment is what will initiate those moments we see on TV (like a chemical reaction that just needs a special liquid), but the raw truth is that the moments that become postcards in our mind are not the daily ones, they are rare, and they happen randomly (in my humblest of opinions) I think you captured that very beautifully in this essay what is like to see outside of the matrix of the media we humans have created. Your realization that those shows are unrealistic felt like a big "aha" moment, and I love that you cherished and appreciated your own arc.
oho, now that's a trend a hope I never jump on! "Needless to say I was baffled how the aesthetic got picked up by my mind. " -- exactly. Some people who read this essay were confused about how I was mimicking something I'd never seen, and I wish I could explain the phenom better too, but I guess it's not something you understand until you realise it's happened to you ><"
Fun to read this, Clare. I enjoyed the contrast between your job in health care in Hong Kong and the idealized version of life you'd sort of absorbed from a TV show you hadn't yet watched. Very well written. Instead of having some idea of what a fulfilling life would look like in my twenties, I spent a few years teaching in China and have a wonderful adventure. I have fun memories in Hong Kong. Even years later, those memories and the relationships formed then and after I returned to the US, sort of set a standard in my mind of what made life as a young adult really fulfilling. I hardly watched TV in those years. But I liked reading this essay and pondering the things that shape our vision of what sort of life we'd like to live. For me, my faith has played a much greater role than TV. Thankfully, we barely got any channels on our old black and white TV growing up, and we had way more fun on the farm outdoors.
Thanks for reading Susan! That really does sound like the healthier way to grow up. I'm interested to know- what were your years of teaching in China like? Where did you go and how did you find Hong Kong? I'm fascinated!
Hong Kong In the early 90s was wonderful. I stayed in Shatin for a short time, then rented a room briefly up near the border in an old village. I stayed above a mahjong parlor there, which was a noisy spot but still an experience! I had friends who ran a retreat center on Cheung Chau Island and loved going there. However things sure changed when I returned in 2011. Some close friends invited me to stay with them on Ma Wan Island and I loved that beautiful place. The population had increased so much and of course the hustle and bustle of HK was impacted after 1997. I have some great memories of HK. The history of your area is fascinating to me also.
Loved reading these musings. Reflection is essential to question what we perceive as norms, to question whether these are in fact valid as norms. And how we can even question how we're living is such a privilege! Our parents never questioned or thought about how to live differently. My father who's in IT said he would've been a fashion designer if he had the choice. Crazy init? The choices you make to earn a living. I fee like we're the ones being ungrateful if even us, with all the privilege we do have to choose, to not make the choices that make us the happiest or the most satisfying.
Oooh “we're the ones being ungrateful if even us, with all the privilege we do have to choose, to not make the choices that make us the happiest” I love that take. Also because our generation is spoilt with choice so many people are re-evaluating their lives and finding their true passions or path, which older generations may not understand cos that wasn’t the struggle for them. Thanks for reading ♥️♥️
That's true. It's hard for them to relate. But too many choices is also paralysing. Maybe the most courageous thing is to just take the plunge. Go big or go home! On top of it, the knowledge that you can always rest in the assurance that you'll alway be able to find a secure job :)
This was a nice read. I've seen more and more people wake up the fact that they've been trying to live a life that they've been sold, either by media, previous generations, or the media of previous generations.
These tropes you mentioned are far older than that show. They've been in the cultural Zeitgeist for so long that people barely question them. Actually, considering Woody Allen came up, a lot of his films both embraced and poked fun at them back in the 1970s.
Having watched most of his movies, you’re definitely right there. It also makes me wonder how much the SATC readers we influenced by Woody Allen, and how Allen in turn was influenced by the movies he watched when young, etc. etc. Thanks for reading Dan!
Oh man... I can't even begin to explain how much an influence HIMYM was to me as a teen. I've been a hopeless romantic throughout that period, and I've set some pretty unrealistic standards on what love should look like. Being in a relationship today, a few years after realizing how my ideals were not grounded with reality, I could see such a huge difference in what relationships are actually like. I still remember being amazed when I realized, "Huh... so love doesn't always have to feel exciting?" I love how you invite us to reflect on the ideas and emotions we have, Claire. :')
yesss media has messed up our heads with the idea of Perfect Love rather than anything else I would say! for me it will always be a mix of when harry met sally/dirty dancing/ross and rachel from friends 🙈
btw— what do you think of the ending of HIMYM? i didn’t want the show to disappoint me so i never watched till the end… but interested to hear a measured take on it ;P
ha! i knew friends had the power to influence me like himym. with regards to the himym ending tho... hmm, i think it's fair generally. honestly, i have some stuff i hate about it. some stuff that were okay. but i still think watching until the end is good for you. idk if it applies to most people, but i felt like i grew from seeing the ending and having my own strong thoughts about it. if you prefer to keep things happy tho, i suggest not going all the way.
hmm interesting. i was actually thinking of writing a post in the future about (authors/screenwriters) bending the story to their initial goal/will (e.g. HIMYM) vs. letting the story and the characters grow organically (e.g. the office) but i guess i'll have to finish HIMYM first in order to do that! :P
Interesting - that sounds like a good topic! I think it’s worth writing something about it even if you haven’t finished watching - if the topic excites you enough :’)
A few months ago, I got this strange urge of wanting to own a faux fur coat. I looked through thrift shops for it mostly and had this strange fantasy that it would keep me warm and I would look cool in the process. One day, I open a website called Refinery29 and there is an article about the "Mafia Wife" trend, a Tik Tok Trend, in which women don things like dark sunglasses, fur coats and prints. I have never been on Tik Tok, I was also on a hiatus from IG. Needless to say I was baffled how the aesthetic got picked up by my mind. The fantasy broke away, thankfully. However, I can't say that romantic movies or shows did not affect me at all, they certainly did, in modeling these super witty connections that do happen, but in rare moments. I have gone to the art gallery with friends once or twice, thinking the environment is what will initiate those moments we see on TV (like a chemical reaction that just needs a special liquid), but the raw truth is that the moments that become postcards in our mind are not the daily ones, they are rare, and they happen randomly (in my humblest of opinions) I think you captured that very beautifully in this essay what is like to see outside of the matrix of the media we humans have created. Your realization that those shows are unrealistic felt like a big "aha" moment, and I love that you cherished and appreciated your own arc.
oho, now that's a trend a hope I never jump on! "Needless to say I was baffled how the aesthetic got picked up by my mind. " -- exactly. Some people who read this essay were confused about how I was mimicking something I'd never seen, and I wish I could explain the phenom better too, but I guess it's not something you understand until you realise it's happened to you ><"
"That the birds fly overhead, this you cannot stop. That they build a nest in your hair, this you can prevent." --Chinese Proverb
Fun to read this, Clare. I enjoyed the contrast between your job in health care in Hong Kong and the idealized version of life you'd sort of absorbed from a TV show you hadn't yet watched. Very well written. Instead of having some idea of what a fulfilling life would look like in my twenties, I spent a few years teaching in China and have a wonderful adventure. I have fun memories in Hong Kong. Even years later, those memories and the relationships formed then and after I returned to the US, sort of set a standard in my mind of what made life as a young adult really fulfilling. I hardly watched TV in those years. But I liked reading this essay and pondering the things that shape our vision of what sort of life we'd like to live. For me, my faith has played a much greater role than TV. Thankfully, we barely got any channels on our old black and white TV growing up, and we had way more fun on the farm outdoors.
Thanks for reading Susan! That really does sound like the healthier way to grow up. I'm interested to know- what were your years of teaching in China like? Where did you go and how did you find Hong Kong? I'm fascinated!
Hong Kong In the early 90s was wonderful. I stayed in Shatin for a short time, then rented a room briefly up near the border in an old village. I stayed above a mahjong parlor there, which was a noisy spot but still an experience! I had friends who ran a retreat center on Cheung Chau Island and loved going there. However things sure changed when I returned in 2011. Some close friends invited me to stay with them on Ma Wan Island and I loved that beautiful place. The population had increased so much and of course the hustle and bustle of HK was impacted after 1997. I have some great memories of HK. The history of your area is fascinating to me also.
thank you for the thoughtful comment, Susan ;) yes, much has changed over the years!
Yes. Lots of change.
I’m going to share a few links of articles I wrote here related to my China time. https://open.substack.com/pub/susankuenzi/p/sight?r=22wfou&utm_medium=ios
@Clare, here’s another article where I talk about my China experience: https://open.substack.com/pub/susankuenzi/p/inspiration-and-overcoming-obstacles?r=22wfou&utm_medium=ios
Loved reading these musings. Reflection is essential to question what we perceive as norms, to question whether these are in fact valid as norms. And how we can even question how we're living is such a privilege! Our parents never questioned or thought about how to live differently. My father who's in IT said he would've been a fashion designer if he had the choice. Crazy init? The choices you make to earn a living. I fee like we're the ones being ungrateful if even us, with all the privilege we do have to choose, to not make the choices that make us the happiest or the most satisfying.
Oooh “we're the ones being ungrateful if even us, with all the privilege we do have to choose, to not make the choices that make us the happiest” I love that take. Also because our generation is spoilt with choice so many people are re-evaluating their lives and finding their true passions or path, which older generations may not understand cos that wasn’t the struggle for them. Thanks for reading ♥️♥️
That's true. It's hard for them to relate. But too many choices is also paralysing. Maybe the most courageous thing is to just take the plunge. Go big or go home! On top of it, the knowledge that you can always rest in the assurance that you'll alway be able to find a secure job :)
you’re very inspiring. i think i YOU should start a substack too!
I'll leave that to you - I know you'll be better!
This was a nice read. I've seen more and more people wake up the fact that they've been trying to live a life that they've been sold, either by media, previous generations, or the media of previous generations.
These tropes you mentioned are far older than that show. They've been in the cultural Zeitgeist for so long that people barely question them. Actually, considering Woody Allen came up, a lot of his films both embraced and poked fun at them back in the 1970s.
Having watched most of his movies, you’re definitely right there. It also makes me wonder how much the SATC readers we influenced by Woody Allen, and how Allen in turn was influenced by the movies he watched when young, etc. etc. Thanks for reading Dan!